Your Mom Jokes

Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.

What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?

Your mom finishes.

One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."

A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?

They’re both in my bed.

Having homosexual parents must be terrible.

Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".

What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?

Your mom can't take a joke.

You look like your mom and your dad had a child.

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.

–Pluto.

Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.

Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."

Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy.

Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!

The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.

Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.

Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.

If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.