Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
You Jokes
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Brother: Your nuts!
Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
Lil’ Johnny be dead, you fools!
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.
Please no harsh comments toward each other.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
