World Jokes

What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the worlds overpopulation issue.

If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me....

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell legalise and programme correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World? To free Willie

How do spiders reach the internet?

Through the World Wide WEB!

😅

Making of the world's
first Camera
Top fan
David
en sworld
Which camera took the picture of world's
First camera?

Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and still going on, so why don’t people talk about it? Because it’s only bad when white people do it

A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that. "new around here?" said the bartender "nah, been here awile" said the robot Bartender "you can talk?" robot "yeah, pretty cool huh." bartender "why do you want a martini" robot "oh, i'm just in the mood for one, you know?" The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk. The robot seems to be just like a normal human, "wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender "the top minds in the world." said the robot. The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..." Bartender, "what?" "Why did you read this entire story, it does not have a punchline, I just wasted your time, Get bamboozled nerd!"

My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room." "Islam it is."

If Stephen Hawking Gets a Heart Attack, where do you go, The hospital or curry’s PC World

Yesterday I purchased a world map And told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands I will take her turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge

What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the world trade center? Partly Cloudy with scattered passengers!

When your mama went to sea world the wales you start singing "WE are family even though your fatter then me

you are able to travel to the anime world, believe me michael jackson did it

Magician..." I am the greatest magician in the whole world... look now you see the rabbit in the hat and now it is gone!...Redneck girl..."That`s nothing my dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple hours!"...