Why jokes

Crime

Me: 911, I just killed someone.

Cops: Cool, we will not come.

Me: Why?

Cops: Don't admit a crime.

Phones: *Bang Bang*

Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.

Orphan

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

House

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Stranger.

Stranger who?

Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?

Spider

I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.

I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????

Nope. I'm moving to Japan.

KONNICHIWA

Bed

Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

Bank

Why do you go to the bank?

To get money.

When do you run from the bank?

When the cops come.

Difference

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

I don't know either.

Why do you think I asked you? ;)

People

Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.

Poison

The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.

Swing

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.