Why jokes
Why can’t orphans have sex?
'Cause they have no one to call daddy!
Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?
Because she can listen to call music.
Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight(ate) nine.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
Why does a Mexican want to learn math?
To study perimeter.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball? Because they can never find home.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."
A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!