Why jokes

China

  • Why do you think China should have a baseball team?

    They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.

    Hug

  • Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?

    Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.

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  • Albert Einstein

  • When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

    “I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

    When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

    Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

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  • Helen Keller

  • How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.

    Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.

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  • PTSD

  • We all know 6 is scared of 7 because 789, but why did 10 have PTSD?

    He was stuck in the middle of 9/11...

    Monkey

  • Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was dead.

    Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was also dead.

    Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

    Monkey see, monkey do.

    Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was stapled to the first one.

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  • Orphan

  • Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.