Why jokes
Why are pirates pirates?
Because they're Arrrrrrrggghhh!!!
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Why did the rapper become a weatherman?
To predict the HEAT of his next single.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause there's no home base...
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Why is an orphan's least favorite day field trip day?
Because they can't get a parent's signature.
A man sits in a bar and gets seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics.
The bartender asked, "What's wrong, sir?"
The man replies, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me."
The bartender says, "Put $20 in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash."
So the man walks out with the $20 he put in his shirt pocket. The next day, the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?"
The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me $20 bucks for the wash."
The wife pulls out the money. "There is $40," says the wife.
"Oh, he also peed on me and paid for the wash, too." The man walks away believing he didn't get caught by his wife.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
If 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?
Because he was between 9 11.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?