Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
Why Jokes
Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?
Because he’s a ball hog.
Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.
Why did the guy run because the girl ripped his penis off?
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandpa is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandma is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!
Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!
Survives until tomorrow.
Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*
Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!
(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
Why can’t October fool April?
Because only April fools.
Why was one afraid of every number in the world?
Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
Why did the clock out the library?
It tocked too much!
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?
It was blue 😔.
Why doesn’t Chuck Norris flush the toilet?
He doesn’t have to, he scares the shit out of the toilet.
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
Why are there blind people? Because there is.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
Why did ranch tell fridge to close the door?
He was dressing.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
