Why jokes
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?
Because they are always so distant. :-]
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
I'll always remember my dad's last words... "Why do you have an axe? We live in the city!"
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re very shellfish.
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.