Why jokes
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with.
So, two kids argued and insulted each other.
KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"
KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
He was stuffed.
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka, the guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him, he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.
Bartender: Hey, that’s some nice jewellery you have there. It must be expensive.
Guy: Yeah, this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It cost me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain, eh?
Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What do you do for a living?
Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.
Bartender: What? If that’s the case, then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer? You’re a hypocrite, that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.
Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right. I'm living with double standards to justify my actions.
(5 seconds later)
Guy: Aye, open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!
GF: Laying down.
BF: GROANING
GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?
BF: Yeah, why?
GF: Shoot that did in there.
BF: Mmmhuugh
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
So, three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother. The first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So, the mother replies, "Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead." The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So, the mother explained, "Same as Daisy, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead." The third daughter then said "ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb," so the mother said, "Shut up, Brick!"
Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?
To draw the curtains.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't go home.
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.
Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never find home.
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
Why can’t orphans ride bikes?
Because they don’t have parent supervision.
Why didn’t the orphan celebrate their birthday?
Because they didn’t have a mom to birth them.
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they will never get home.