Wheelchair

Wheelchair Jokes

Mother

Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.

People

Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.

Teacher

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

Tomato

What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?

They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!

Bunch

What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?

A vegetable rack.

Influence

Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.

Trampoline

So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?

Fire

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

Girlfriend

Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.

Me: Guess who came crawling right back?

People

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.