Whats jokes
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
What did the mincrater do when his Xbox turns off?
He raged! 😱
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Kid: What is between mom's legs?
Dad: Paradise.
Kid: What's between your legs?
Dad: The key to paradise.
Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
What did the beachgoers in North Carolina say when there was a tsunami?
Nothing, they died.
What’s the difference between a pile of corpses and a Mclaren P1?
I don’t have a garage.
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college?
Bye-son.
What did the man say to his wife? "Make me a damn sandwich, woman!"
What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.