Weight jokes
Yo mama so fat,
she fell off BOTH sides of the bed!
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.
Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.
"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
You're so fat, that you're fat.
Yo mama so fat, she was mistaken for Eric Cartman from South Park.