Weight jokes

You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

The earth used to be flat.

Till they buried yo mama.

Yo mama so fat,

she fell off BOTH sides of the bed!

You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.

My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.

Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."