Weight jokes

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.

Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.

Yo mama so fat, she don't need the internet because she is already worldwide.

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.

Yo mamma's so fat no one was laughing, but the ground was cracking up.

Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.

Yo mama so fat, she costs 15 elixir, and 3 inferno towers can't kill her!

Yo mama's so fat, when Thanos snapped, she only lost a few kg.

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

Yo mama so fat that when she fell on the concrete, nobody laughed, but the concrete cracked up.

The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.

Yo mama so fat, she thought "RAW MEN" was "RAMEN."

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.

Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.

Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.

Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.

White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?

Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!