We jokes

Me vs. the emo kid: we go to high-five a tree. I get a high five; the emo kid is left hanging.

We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."

What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.

Bro, I love hanging out with bullies. It's either we play Yahtzee or we playing Nazi.

We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.

Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?

How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?

What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we watch through.

I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.

Fat people are the reason we have double doors.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""

"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)