Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
We Jokes
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
Bro, I love hanging out with bullies. It's either we play Yahtzee or we playing Nazi.
Me vs. the emo kid: we go to high-five a tree. I get a high five; the emo kid is left hanging.
What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?
Imaginary parents.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
