Water

Water Jokes

Ocean

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. It just "waved!"

Fish

The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

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  • Blonde

    How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

    Jack

    Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.

    Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.

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  • Degree

    How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

    199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

    Get?

    NASA

    Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?

    Because it has at least one hundred degrees.

    Iceberg

    Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?

    Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!

    Sport

    What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.

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  • Blonde

    Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.

    The brunette brings canteens of water.

    The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.

    The blonde somehow rips off the car door.

    The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"

    To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."

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  • Fish

    I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.

    Pen

    I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

    Priest

    The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."

    Poop

    What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!