Visit jokes
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.