Urban Planning jokes

There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.

What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?

Speed humps.

Twin Towers? No Jenga!

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."

The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"

What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"

It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.

Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.

Are you the Twin Towers? 'Cause you sure upgraded.

Even the World Trade Center underwent a better upgrade than your ugly ass.

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

Only a city council committee would create this mistake.

Put a fucking playground next to a shitty sewer!