Unders jokes

When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."

What do a mole and an eagle have in common?

They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.

I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.

He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.

Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.

How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!

Why was the belt placed under arrest?

For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.

If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.

Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.

The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.

Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.

This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!

So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.

During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"

Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.

Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?

He got a pat on the head.

I never understood school shooting jokes.

I guess they were aimed at younger audiences.

What do you call an underwater maid?

A mermaid! 😂😂😂😂

Wait, since I'm underage from having sex, what is it like?

Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.

One hot day a cow wanted some shade.

He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."