The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.
During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"
Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
Wait, since I'm underage from having sex, what is it like?
What do you call an underwater maid?
A mermaid! šššš
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
One hot day a cow wanted some shade.
He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just donāt look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said thatās a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Stevenās mom wasnāt home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just donāt look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said itās a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just donāt look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights Thereās a snake in the bush.
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
Uder the sheets.
Under the sheeeets. Me and your mother making your brother.
Under the sheets. Do do do do dododoodoooddododoodo.
SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
