Uglies jokes

Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!

Kid with mother: Your mom!

"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.

"Me," Wait, what...ever.

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.

I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...

Because you already look ugly.

Yo mama so ugly that when she looked at the sun, it exploded.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".

You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.

Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.

Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”

I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?

UGLY!

Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.

The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”

Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.

My cousin called me ugly.

Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.

Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to the ugly club, they said, "Sorry, professionals only!"

Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.