Twos jokes
Two urchins, L. H. A. B.
What did the Los Angels Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breath? they gave George Floyd two squirts of zicam cold remedy inside his nose
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Memes
Bro how are my favorite rappers gonna make good music if they can’t pop PERKIES
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
This is two heads.
Deaf. "Deep water." ""
- "78 years."
Are you interested again? ""
"If you go ... you are there."
"No. 85 is good."
What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.
Are you interested in it?
More than two boot branches.
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."
What did the World Trade Center order from Domino's Pizza?
They ordered two large planes.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.