Twos jokes

People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)

What is the difference between human rights and the Earth?

The Earth has been to be between two games a year after school, a time and fun game that has.

Two whales went to a bar.

The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."

What happens when two walls meet?

They are cornered.

"I’m coming for you two!"

Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?

Because they lost their queen and two towers.

Why are Americans bad at Clash of Royals?

Because they have already lost two towers!

What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.

Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?

Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.

Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.

What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's parents?

One of the two actually came back.😂

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.

Why are Americans so bad at chess?

They already lost two towers.

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.

Two Chinese men walk into a bar.

"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."

All go gansta until the two towers fall down on you.

I hate two-faced people because I don’t know which face to slap first. :)

Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.