Twos jokes
If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
Why is America so bad at playing Jenga?
Because they already lost two towers.
Memes
joe mama roast
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
Q: Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
A: Because they lost two of their towers.
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
Why can’t Chinese people have a white baby?
Because two wongs don’t make a white.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
Definition of trust: two cannibals having oral sex.
Why can't two Asians have a white baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
Why do pedos hate corona? Because they have to stay two meters away from children. 😈
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.