Twin jokes

When an African has a twin, your me??

"I’m coming for you two!"

What's brown and white with red all over?

Terrorists when they went into the Twin Towers.

I rate the Twin Towers 9/11, very stable buildings.

Why did the Twin Towers fall exactly at 9/11?

Because the terrorists thought that it would be fun to call 911 as a "prank."

The Twin Towers.

Twin towers are like identical twins, and I threw a paper airplane.

Why is the USA so bad at chess?

Because they already lost the Twin Towers.

My name is Mariah Carly Brown, and I am an orphan, and what do I say about your jokes that are not funny... STOP THEM!

Dark humor is mean! All day I go to see all the jokes I find, and I see "Orphan jokes."

What kind of sick person likes that kind of joke? By the way, it is not a question. I have 3 twin sisters! Lariah, Kariah, and Iariah! Iariah starts with an i! So stop the jokes, please!

My boner had better structural support than the Twin Towers.

Fine, then if I can't do Gwen, then I guess it is Tenya and Kenya. #Twin sisters! Tenya and Kenya!

So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.

Twin Towers, more like dead towers.

Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?

But that's just my opinion.

The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.

Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.

Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.

Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.

Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.

Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.

Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.

Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.

Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.

I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.

Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.

Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.

I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.

Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.

Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.

Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.

Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.

Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.

Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.

Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.

I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.

Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.

Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.

Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.

Once, a mother worked in an orphanage as a cooker. She had a son and a daughter—twins.

When she was going to her work, she decided to take the twins with her. They were happy, they got ready and played with other children while their mother was cooking for other kids. Then, a poor family entered the orphanage. They said they wanted to adopt twins. As soon as they saw the children playing, they noticed the woman's kids. They said they wanted to adopt them. The manager said they weren't orphans, but before he said it, a teacher accidentally gave them to the poor family under the names of Layla and Logan. The kids were Kyle and Kayla. They went away with their new children, but the kids cried, they said they weren't orphans and that their mother was in the orphanage, cooking. The poor family didn't believe, they thought it was the children's reaction of getting adopted. The woman went outside of the kitchen, she didn't see her children. She asked the teacher... And when she found out, she screamed and ran outside. She was running at the poor family, when they thought she was a psychopath and wanted to kill them.

When Kyle and Kayla looked back, they saw their mother. They swung their hands so the poor family could let them away. They ran to their mother and hugged her. The poor family got shocked and called the cops. But the mother, she showed the documents and her parent rights. This all explains the worst joke, "Yo Momma Lost Ya."

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"

The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".

Chapter #1

“Hey Matthew, how is our world doing?” I asked Matthew through the mic. My name is Kai, and Matthew was my best friend and my brother, well, stepbrother. He lives with my dad along with Clara, my little sis. Matthew and I were born in the same year but with different parents. He is like my twin. Our birthday is the same, March, 21, 2009. Then Matthew responds, “It’s doing fine. I finished building the second floor of the house.” We were playing Minecraft java edition, in hardcore, so if we died, we would lose the world. We had made it so far in survival mode. Just then, I heard someone knocking on my door to my room. I went to go see who it was, but just as I got out of my chair, the computer made a weird sound, and I heard Matthew scream for help seconds before I was sucked into the computer.

Chapter #2 Survival

“Oof, that hurt,” I groaned. I looked down, and I almost fainted. I was in Minecraft. I had a dark blue shirt with dark, almost black, brown pants. The only problem was that if Matthew got sucked in the game, then where was he? Just then I heard a big boom. I looked behind me, and what I faced was a big crater. I walked to the crater and seen some wood planks plus brick, stone, and gate. Just at that moment, I realized that that was the house me and Matthew were building. Then I heard groaning, thinking it was a zombie, and not realizing that it was nighttime, I jumped into the crater. I peeked above the grass block and saw a person, tall, skinny, and had a girl shape to their body. I thought it was Matthew but realized it was a girl. The moonlight shone down on her. I had never seen her before. She was as tall as me and had black hair and dark blue eyes. Then behind me I heard something move. I looked behind me and found a zombie on a grass block, but it just fell down the crater into a puddle of lava. I tried not to laugh, but I burst out laughing “ha ha ha ha.” Then I heard the girl scream. I jumped up and seen a zombie about to eat her, but by then I had a crafting table and lots of wood and a couple of sticks. I quickly made a sword and lunged at the zombie, not out of saving the girl but also to save a person I can team up with and find Matthew with. I hit the zombie square through the back of its head. Then when it did not die and turned around I remembered zombies don’t die with one hit, but it did fall off the cliff that I realized was there, so I am pretty sure it was not going to come back. So I started walking, but just then the girl (whom I forgot was there) tried throwing me off the edge. Thankfully I got to the ground before she could throw me off the edge. When I got up, I was eye to eye with her. I could see that her eyes were blue just like sapphires. At that moment, both of us were frozen, standing there, and opened our mouths to talk, but before we could, she was cut off by an arrow hitting the tree next to us. “Come on, hurry!” I yelled. I ran into the hole where the Minecraft house used to be. By then, I had picked up some of the wooden planks that were still there and built a 4 x 4 house and pulled her into there and drew my sword (because I was so good at the game, so I made it fast). I looked out the window, that I had picked up and seen some skeletons and zombies. Surprisingly there was no creepers insight, well not for now anyway. We sat there for what seemed like forever no one talked; we just sat there until I saw the light of day. I crouched and slowly made my way outside. I stalked the perimeter and saw some zombies burning but nothing else. I made my way to the entrance of the little house, and I stopped in my tracks at what my house became right there in the doorway. There was a path down to the girl I saved, who was mining the dirt from the ground. I got out of the doorway and went to the crafting table and made a pickaxe, went down with the girl, and asked her if she found any coal, in reply I got a no. To be fair though she just hit stone. There was a lot of dirt where we were. We had been digging for a while, and it was now sunset by then I had gone out and got some wood and made the place a little bit bigger. We added a long chest, then put all the dirt and cobblestone we got into the chest. When night had fallen, I drew my sword and waited for the worst. Thankfully nothing came except a zombie. After the sun rose, I went out to get some more wood while she did some stuff in the wooden house. I had been thinking about Matthew and how the house blew up. Right then I thought it might be a griefer, so I went to go ask the girl if she thinks that too. who I still have yet to ask for her name, but as I made my way to the house, I saw a figure sprint from a tree I stopped in my tracks. I ran behind a tree and sat there till I saw the girl look for me, then I came from behind the tree while looking at where I saw the shadow. As I walked toward her, she was walking behind the house to see what I was looking at, but I stopped her, and before she said anything, I explained " I saw someone, I don't want you to go over there," as I looked into her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. “Let’s get in the house before the zombies come, or worse.” As we walked I kept my eyes on the woods surrounding us. Once we were there, I escorted her into the house while I checked behind me once we were in the house, I made a door and put some dirt behind it. Right at that moment I heard a hiss, and before I could get out, the ground exploded. I flew far from the house to a desert. I hit the ground with a thud and sand in the mouth. I got up and dusted myself off and surveyed my surrounding and found myself surrounded by mobs, so I sprinted for my life as an arrow whizzed past me.

Chapter #4 Supplies

I ran for something like wood or something I could, but the desert supplied me with none of that, and I realized that I would have to take this into my own hands. I hit a dead bush and got a stick and turned around and hit the nearest thing to me, which was a creeper I turned again and ran until I saw daylight. I had found a temple which I hid in. I punched the wool and made my way down to the chests. As I made my way down, I took some extra sand just in case, and once I was able to get in the chests and found a golden apple, Redstone dust, paper, and bones I took all of this. Just in case I needed them, I slowly made my way up and out of the temple. I walked until I saw the night approach, so I dug down a little bit and made a little cutout in the sand so I didn’t have to face the mobs again. It had been the morning by the time I dug myself out. When I got out I gazed upon the beautiful sunrise mobs were burning up in the sunlight and a couple of creepers and a spider or two I waited until I saw no more mods other than a creeper and the spiders I knew the spiders won’t hurt me but the creepers would. So I crouched and snuck behind the creeper and bumped into the spider, but all it did was make a hiss. I quickly turned around and to my surprise, the creeper was just standing there like nothing ever happened so I stayed crouched and walked a little further once I was a safe distance away I got up and made my way to the lights to the close village nearby. As I got there I saw no iron golem or villagers so I thought to myself that they were probably inside their houses as I walked past two of the houses I saw some spider webs and stained glass and realized that this is an abandoned village and found some iron with zombies everywhere and most of them had helmets so that was the reason they weren’t burning up. I had to find some supplies before I battled the zombies so I took as much stuff from the village that I could and put on some iron armor and got out an iron sword. I knew what the danger was if I died but I’m still going to do it. I made my way to where the zombies were and as I set foot in their sight they came after me. I jumped quickly when I touched the ground I had impaled the first zombie and threw it at another zombie and stabbed through both of them but when I thought it was getting better I saw an arrow hit my sword I looked up from the battle and mess I created to my right there was an evoker and a pillager with a crossbow I dashed for the nearest house and dove in. I heard arrows hitting the ground and the walls around me. I knew there was no way out, not unless I fight, so I drew my sword again just as a pillager walked in it distracted me from what it was really doing, it moved out of the doorway and to what I saw was an evoker about to hit I jumped up when I saw some teeth about to come and threw my sword at the pillager, who was trying to shoot me, and when I hit the ground I stole my sword back from the dead body of the pillager and chucked it at the evoker whether it hit or not I didn't care the only thing I wanted to do was get away from here. I made a wild dash out the door. I ran past the dead iron golem and stole the iron ingots from the illiger that had killed the iron golem. I ran as far away from the village as possible and looked behind me to see what the village had become. I hated the look of the burning town and all the villagers dying left and right. I guess I didn't see the villagers before and as I looked beyond there was another village already half-burnt. I wanted to rage and kill everything in sight, I decided not to because I only had an iron sword from the blacksmith. I turned my back to the village and walked toward the forest that was beyond the desert. As I walked I could tell that the sun was fading away and the moon was rising. I ran as fast as I could toward the forest. I didn’t want to get caught in the night fighting again. I could not afford to die, not here anyway. Once I got to the forest I could tell someone had been here because there had been a space cleared and there was wood missing in some of the trees plus there was a hole in the ground about 10 feet from me. I didn't know if this person set up traps or just left but either way, I held up my sword and started forward. I didn't find much after that only a cave that had some torches and no ores so that was a fact there was someone or something that lived here. I had camped out for a couple more days and then started to scavenge for food. It wasn't hard because there was a herd of pigs and cows. I made my way to them as they grazed and found a hole that led straight down. I had a pickaxe and hands so I dug down to the bottom. I found some iron but not much more. It was strange that there was a hole straight down and through the bedrock. I stayed for a couple of days in the forest then once the sun came up I strolled out of the forest dodging the occasional zombie or skeleton I almost blew up due to a creeper. It hadn't been long before I realized that a shadow Was a little out of my pace. It wasn't long before it disappeared from my sight. While I chased it I was kind of curious about what it would be like that there wasn't much that had Shadows around here other than living people. And if it was a person then it could very well be the girl that I rescued from the zombie not much long ago. I dashed as fast as I could. It had been a while after the explosion before I had heard of any other living thing other than villagers. At first, I had the thought that something bad had happened but that changed when I saw a huge herd of cows, pigs, and sheep along with some horses. With a sigh of relief, I dashed toward the cows to get some leather before they ran away. Just then the ground went out below me and I fell down in a dark musty area with Redstone lights going down a tunnel. The moment I stepped through the two-block tall gap I heard a tick and realized that the place was lined with pressure plates.