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Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s black and white
You're mama so slow she went by a TV and Miss eight episodes
What is an orphans least favorite tv show Full house
Yo moma so stupid, that she sat on the tv and watched the couch We are in a matrix, wake up
I was watching a tv show where a guy was hanging off a cliff then the series ended...guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliff hanger
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle
Why the fuck would I do that. I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn in my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me in the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watch and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with my I wouldn't feel lonely. Well I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, i took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forgot the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forgot what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what i did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish, is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead it also had rings
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy
Bo - hey kids I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power so I am just going to be a orphan *kids changing the channel to Annie* Annie- Tomorrow tomorrow only a day away * TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go Dezzy- WAAAAAAAAAA I can’t find Bo
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
What is an orphans least favorite tv show family guy
Kid -dad I want santa to give me iphone Indian poor dad- son santa is deaf Kid-no he is not I saw him on Tv yesterday Indian poor dad-oh actually I asked him to for a new wife may be he is wearing AirPods Kid-you are my santa daddy Indian poor dad- pull down you pants son Kid-it's not apple product Indian poor dad -its banana
Gwen: Prince they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!?!
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now I'm logging of this site and going to watch some tv I'll be back in 1 hour but we are done...DONE...DONE
What's a tree's least favorite TV show? Chopped!
what atom presents tv shows david atombrough
yo mama so fat she walked by the tv, i missed 3 episodes
Mom: I saw John Cena at wwe
Son: no way you can't see him though
Mom: god
Son: what
Mom: you watch too much reality TV comes to smack butt
Son: also because I’m John Cena
Mom: whe where’d ya go
John Cena: hey mom
Mom: I’m only 31 your 42
During the election campaign of 2012 we heard about Obama but we fought they said Osama. So I told my friend grab his gun and lets have some fun. So during one of Obama's campaign we both shot him to death, which lasted a while. Then my friend said "lets go get piz drunk at Mavericks bar". Then on TV they talked about Obama death and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
Heres a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions- My buddies think I'm on the lake Boss thinks I've been sick for days And mama's probably on her way 'Cause I ain't picked up the phone I've been a million places But they're all up in my head Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left I've been gone, I've been gone I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I've been gone Took a trip down memory lane Checked into hotel heartbreak Passed rock bottom on the way Without leaving my living room I've been a million places But they're all up in my head Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left I've been gone, I've been gone I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I've been gone Yeah I've been gone All the clothes are on the floor All the mail's by the door All the whiskey bottles in my bed All the dishes in the sink All the gas is in the tank All the neighbors probably think I'm dead I've been gone, I've been gone I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh) I've been gone (ooh, ooh) Gone
