Tvs jokes

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.

Your mama is so ugly, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

What was JFK's favorite school TV show?

BrainPop.

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.

Pokemon: What’s Wailmer’s favorite TV show?

Whale of Fortune.

Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.

What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?

His little brother with the console.

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

TV: Water found on Mars...

Mars: 1

Africa: 0

My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.

His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"

Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?

He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.

I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.

TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"

Orphans: "Yea."

Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?

1. Listening to your teacher.

2. Not having your phone/game/TV.

3. Not having nicotine.