100+ Tvs Jokes

My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"

Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.

What do TVs and girls have in common?

They both show you stuff when you turn them on!

What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV. His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"

The image shows a four-panel meme. Each panel has a different scenario, with a crying, angry-looking character on the left and a TV screen on the right. The text next to the crying character in each panel says "THAT'S RACIST!" Each panel has a different statement. First panel, text says "Why is the black guy the villain?". Second panel, text says "Why does the black guy have to get shot?". Third panel, text says "Why is it only black people killing each other?". Fourth panel, text says "Why are there no black people in this movie?". The TV screen in each panel depicts a different scenario. Panel 1 shows a black person pointing a gun at a white person. Panel 2 shows a white person pointing a gun at a black person. Panel 3 shows a black person pointing a gun at a black person. Panel 4 shows a white person pointing a gun at a white person.

Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"

A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”

What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?

One makes your day and one makes your whole week.

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"

Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.

Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"

Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."

Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"

So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."