My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV. His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"
Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."
Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"
So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?
Family Guy.
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
Trying to make jokes in 2020-2021 be like:
Comedian: "When she went in front of the TV, it took an hour till you could see the screen again."
Audience: "Why you gotta be so offensive?"
Comedian: "I'm not tr-"
Audience: "Oh, so now you're trying to debate?"
Comedian: "I-"
Audience: "Now you're acting racist?!"
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
