Trauma jokes
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni, yet plane arrived!!!
Why did 10 have trauma?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A rape victim!
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
Rape victims suck, literally.
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.