Worst Jokes Ever

I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.

There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.

What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?

You brighten my day.

My friend tried to sleep on napkins.

I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.

My puns are awesome, pure gold.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

What did the baseball player say to the bassist?

Nice baseline!

I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!

Q: What do you call a tsunami?

A: Your mom's water breaking.

Stand? Wait. No.

Spaceballs: The Joke.

Eli Tremain.

My favorite Pixar film: Wall-E.

Stephen Hawking said there is no God.

2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Theodore.

Theodore who?

Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.

I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.

My social life.

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Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.

No, what did you get? Older.

There was a dino at the library today.

It was reading a thesaurus.