Worst Jokes Ever

So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"

Where do you go to get the best fish?

A restaurant on the Titanic.

What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?

"Windows Shut Down."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Discord.

Discord who?

I need discord to plug in the phone.

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

Bob: Kanye West.

Dad: No, but I can East.

American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."

Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.

You know this joke really cracks up my bones!

What is an orphan's least favorite store?

Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.

Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.

Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.

What did one plate say to the other plate?

"Dinner's on me."

Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.

Boo! 👻🎃💀🕷️🕸️☠️ (So scary, right?)

Were Japanese suicide bombers taught to fly, or was it just a quick crash course?

What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?

Fat people jokes.

When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,

just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!