Worst Jokes Ever
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the Wi-Fi cord.
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "Moo!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
I got hit with a can of soda.
It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.
Is Will Smith a blacksmith?
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
What did kings say when they were made king?
Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."