Worst Jokes Ever

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

Your hairline [is] so bad, we needed to pull it from another universe.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.

So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"

What is the opposite of salt water?

Pepper water.

Do you know the shortest joke about Titanic?

*Splash!*

Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!

What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?

When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.

What's the difference between a pizza & a person?

A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...

A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there?

Not Susie.

Sam Mensah!

Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."

Kid: "OK THANK YOU."

(AT BED TIME)

Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"

Ben: "I'm not."

(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"

I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.

If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?

Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.

What does a glass of water ask a pond?

"Water you doing?"

What does the pond answer?

"Pondering life."

What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.

"Hippity hoppity, women are my property."