Worst Jokes Ever
Impossible? I’m very possible, really!
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: They don’t have a home to run back to.
Sans: Hey Frisk, why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Frisk: Why didn't he go to the dance?
Sans: 'Cause he had no body to dance with!
My brother Taf likes to pee the bed.
A lady comes into the boys' bathroom and a boy sees her.
"This is not a girls' bathroom," he says.
She answers, "I don’t care," she says, "I NEED TO PEE!"
Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?
He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.
Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the "mic drop" was too high!
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd jump!
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
Why do butts always win at poker?
They always hold the best PAIRS!
Why couldn’t the booty be on social media?
It had too many FOLLOWERS behind it.
What the sigma?
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
How do rappers stay cool in the summer?
They drop ICE COLD rhymes.