Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. Tomato means harder and cheese means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming tomato tomato tomato cheese cheese cheese, then my little brother said can y’all stop making sandwiches your getting mayonnaise all over my bed.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish".
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
if tomatoes are fruit does that mean ketchup is a smoothie
There are two siblings. A little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night, and take her home. So they get to the bigger brothers house, and walk in his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk bed. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "whenever you feel good, say lettuce, and whenever you want to switch positions say tomato." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato" and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, " can you guys stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayonnaise all over me.
What’s the difference from a orphan and a tomato
The tomato’s get picked.
🧀:C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀:You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
“Hotel Rwanda” has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes. But their Yelp reviews are terrible.
(there was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato and a baby tomato)
Baby: wait for me!
(father tomato walks back towards the baby)
(he squishes the child)
Father: Ketchup
Did you hear about the tomatoe and the lettuce race? Well the lettuce was a-head and the tomatoe was trying to ketchup
why did the tomato cross the road to ketchup with his friends on the other side
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said "We need to ketchup to the tomato"
Why is a tomato red. Because it saw the ranch dressing
What did the tomato say to the empty Ketchup bottle "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME"
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!👍🏼👍🏼😂😂
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.