Tomatoes jokes

Life

  • Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.

    Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.

    Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.

    My life is like... the shoe rack-

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  • Coffee

  • I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

    1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.

    I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.

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  • Tomato

  • What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?

    They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!

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  • Scarecrow

  • 1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

    2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

    3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

    4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

    5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

    6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

    7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

    8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

    9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

    10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

    11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

    12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

    13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

    14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

    15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

    16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

    17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

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  • Scientist

  • Here are 20 jokes for you:

    Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

    What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!

    Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!

    Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

    How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!

    Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!

    How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!

    Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!

    What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!

    What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!

    Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!

    Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

    What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

    Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!

    What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!

    Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

    Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!

    Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!

    How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!

    What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!

    I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.

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  • Tomato

  • Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

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