Tomatoes jokes
What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?
Aha, tomato macaroni is bad, hahaha.
(I don't even know what on earth I put here, but okay.)
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
Do NOT buy a tomato EVER again
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"