Tomatoes jokes
What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?
The tomato gets picked.
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Why is a tomato red?
Because it saw the ranch dressing!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
Why did da tomato blush?! IT SAW THE SALAD DRESSING YUH!
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Why did the tomato blush?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"