Toilet

Toilet Jokes

Mouth

Why was the toilet angry?

Because everyone was pooping in his mouth :>

Poop

Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!

Mermaid

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

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  • Toilet Paper

    What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper?

    "Hey, check me out! I'm on a roll!" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€­πŸ€­

    Sister

    My sister just sits on the toilet with her iPad, then I go to do something at the sink and she says, "Bella, give me toilet paper!" Then I am annoyed, like super annoyed.

    Routine

    I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.

    Toilet Paper

    You dropped your toilet paper, right? You want to pick it up, but you can't because you have poop in your butt and it scwoshd! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Poo

    Knock knock. Who is there? Poo. Poo who? Hey, I need ta go poooooooooooop!

    Toilet Paper

    Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.

    Transvestite

    A man walked into a toilet and saw a woman fingering a man and said, "I think you're doing it wrong." Turns out it was two transvestites.

    Pooh

    Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.