Toot and poop.
Toilet Jokes
Yo mama so disgusting, she hangs toilet paper to dry after she wiped with them.
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?
Coronavirus and toilet paper.
Why did the toilet paper get to the bottom of the hill?
Because he went down the drain! - it's a bad joke, lmao.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where did Tigger go looking for Pooh?
In the toilet! 🚽 💩 💩 💩
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
Pop in the toilet.
Why did the Pikachu say "Pi"??
He had to use the bathroom!
Cam likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Me after Taco Bell: Go to: [link to image of broken toilet]
