Toilet jokes
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."
The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
Big butt
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
Fat jokes and mom jokes😂
1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."
2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."
4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."
6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Why couldn't the toilet cross the road?
Answer: 'Cause it got stuck in the crack.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Why did Peter bring toilet roll to the party? Because he was a party pooper!
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
Yo momma's so fat, it takes her 1,000,000 hours on the toilet.