What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
Why does a kid yell, "Shit?"
Because he had to take one.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
What kind of poops do ghosts take? A spooky dookie.
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.
Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.
Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Me: Hey, have you seen my butt?
Him: No, have you seen where it is?
Me: Maybe here on your private part hehe.
Him: *dumps my head on the toilet* HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW, PERVERT?
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
Why do people poop?
Because it we need to!
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
Why are orphans always on the toilet?
Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!
POO I LOVE POO.
Here’s my song:
“Poo poo poo pooo pooe poop poop poopy.”
Thank you!
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
Where did tigger go looking for Pooh?
In the toilet 🚽! 💩 💩 💩
What is another name 🤔 for Holy water 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧 🚽 toilet water.
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
