A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight" He was priest.
This is a poem my younger sister when she was three, recited to a crowd and I will never forget it. It is very short though.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their teams bench.
After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”
She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”
How do you know when a football player has been to jail? When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do you you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket. How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans’ vest tight
Why do blondes wear tight skirts? To keep their legs closed.
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Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline. The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.
The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"
Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.
A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.
"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.
"My wife cheated on me." a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.
"I'm sorry to hear that." Dave says.
"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."
Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:
"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging.. he didn't reply bc the rope was too tight
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Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe, till there all black and blue!
(Classic)
COMMUNISM IS ACTUALLY KINDA TIGHT.
One day, there are Friends having fun, hours later one of the friends Alice, wanted to leave and say *cya guys am just gonna hangin in the tree and have some fresh air* and they all agree hours go by and the group of friends are ready to go home but then seen a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is weirdest thing to say. Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops! Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird). Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt(really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
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What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
2 tight ends and a wide receiver
