Thought jokes

Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.

I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?

"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."