They jokes
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they have to hit a home run.
Why can't orphans have friends?
They will stay together.
In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
Why did the clown not attack Mike? Because they bouncee.
I hate 9/11 jokes... They always crash and burn, like, dude, it's not funny?
Bored?
Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.
So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"
So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!