Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Jo mama so fat that when aliens invaded earth, they said, "Wow, two in one!"
Why did two 4s skip dinner? Because they already ate.
If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?
The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
Why is it okay to make fun of orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they all sit in the dark.
Why can't orphans play softball?
Because they don't know where home base is.
I never understood school shooting jokes.
I guess they were aimed at younger audiences.
You are so skinny that they won't let you ride a fucking roller coaster because you flew before.
The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.
