Thereness jokes
I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.
Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.
There was an emo kid in their room, boom, they're all gone, now.
Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, there is no homepage.
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
Teacher: I am an orphan.
Students: Oof.
Teacher: Is there anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
So if you are bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.