Thereness jokes
There were two twin brothers, Lucas and Marcus. Marcus got a girlfriend while Lucas stayed single.
A few weeks later, Lucas was caught kissing Marcus's girlfriend, and Marcus comes over and says: "Babe, I know we're twins, but I'm Marcus, and that's Lucas you were kissing." And his girlfriend looks at him and says: "I know."
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using the computer?
There is sperm on the computer screen.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sister.
Sister who?
My sister's ass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Don't you get it? You're the joke, dumbass!
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.
Your forehead is so big, the moon landing was there.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
There aren’t enough gymnastics jokes.
It’s flipping annoying! (Original)