There jokes

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?

There’s a stairway to heaven.

Why can’t orphans get in trouble?

Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the fool's house.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who's there?

Not your parents!

We need to stop making jokes about orphans. They will tell their parents. Oh wait...

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

Why did an orphan go on Google Maps?

To try and find their parents.

So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.

At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

I created a website for orphans, but there was no homepage.

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.

A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.

I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.

Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!

High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"