There jokes

Emo

2 views ·

If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.

Orphanage

1 view ·

Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.

Son: Why, Dad?

Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.

Lie clock

16 views ·

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.

Sex

1 view ·

Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

Gender

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.

Cancer

22 views ·

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

Pilot

1 view ·

Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?

The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.