There jokes
Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.
I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
Why can't America play chess?
They're already missing 2 towers.
Last night little Johnny went to his room and saw people hanging out there, little balls.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
Hello everyone, now a question to make it in there is no right or wrong answer, but who here has watched fireb0rn??
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.