There jokes
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
Your hairline's so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
What joke do you tell an orphan?
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not your parents.
What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
Why can't orphans go to parents' evening? Because their parents left them.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.